OH MY! X-MAS IS A MONTH AWAY

Today is a gloomy day. It's cold, it's raining, the sun has decided to sleep in I guess. It's amazing how on days like this, we tend to feel something other than ourselves. We don’t feel sad, but we’re not happy either, we’re just sort of…..dead.

A friend of mine and I were talking the other day about humor. I don’t know about what you find funny, but personally, I find the most obscene things funny. I think the reason I find that stuff so funny is due to the Simpsons, but to be honest, I think it’s more as a result of South Park. They take everything to the extreme. People blowing their brains out, and killing one another for no reason, shitting and puking violently, and racism. I know it may sound sick, but the father you push a joke, the funnier it becomes. Maybe we’re always a little dead inside.

I’m not a racist, nor am I condoning violence, but it should be ok to joke about it. As Chris Rock says, it’s all about context. A joke that offends people is their problem, not mine. If you take yourself so seriously you can laugh at everything, you have a problem. Everything is funny, life is a joke. I don’t think that anything is really off limits, as South Park said either everything is funny, or nothing is. I hate all the PC bullshit.

Speaking of PC fuckers, fuck all of you that say “Happy Holidays.” It’s fucking Christmas. I was born a Jew and I still hate the “Happy Holidays” shit. I mean, do people really know when Kwanza is or Hannukah? The answer is NO. And who fucking cares. The people that celebrate that shit are a total minority. If we really cared about them there would be other concessions we would make. For instance, giving religious holidays to minority groups instead of making them take vacation days, have holiday symbols related to the observation. But we don’t, and that’s a good thing, so why the hell would we say “holiday season.” Fuck you if you think it’s a good idea. You’re a moron and you’re just trying to make yourself think you’re doing the right thing.

I haven’t been to any malls recently, thank no one, but I hear it’s crazy busy. Why? WHY? “Hey honey, here’s some shit you don’t need, or that you’ll not want within a couple of months.” “ Oh thank you dear, we’ll give it to goodwill when we’re done with it.” “That’s my girl!” Fuck that.

Self-Aware and Barely There

This is an old poem, it's not great, but I just wanted to post it.... I promise I am not sad though. I am happy as can be. Trust me.

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Monsters run through mushy pink and grey medows.
Feasting on the innocent,
who ran to hide in the shadow.
Hoping they might live the day,
Just to say, "I love you"

Such a familiar morning.
Torturing the happy thoughts inside my head.
Instead of letting myself be who I want to be,
All I do is hate and berate.
I can hear the screams of pain,
But all I feel is disdain for the good things I do.
I wonder if they were ever even good.

The things that make me happy,
Sadly only make me feel worse...
Self-awareness is not but a curse.
Pleasure gives me pain.
I should be doing more with my name.

I'm alive with dead eyes.
Though certain things I can still see, yet not comprehend.
This world is so beautiful it makes me sick.
My heart cries, but my eyes stay dry.

I want then to be now.
I want there to be what currently is a dream.
To be honest, I don't even know what I mean.
Sometimes helpful things don't help.
Sometimes thoughtful acts are done without thought.

So On Can Art

I don’t know about you, but often I find myself walking down streets in London Ontario thinking to myself “This place could be so beautiful.” I see billboards advertising things I can’t really imagine a use for, abandoned buildings painted white, street signs with tattered poster of bands no one went to see, and the latter affects me the most. Tattered posters…….no one went to see.

I don’t know what it is, and I’m guilty as well, but we all seem to neglect posters. Perhaps they are just not beautiful anymore. Why is that? Are people too lazy? I don’t like the statements “I don’t know how to draw” or “I’m not artistic.” Posters don’t need to be nice or pretty, they just have to catch someone eye. Personally, I like posters, art, whatever, to be very raw, almost childish, seemingly unsophisticated. It doesn’t have to be professional, just real. Let’s make poster art, let’s make our cities a little more beautiful. Don’t be afraid to make low art.

It’s amazing to look around you and hear and see all the beautiful things. In Southern Ontario there is so much beauty, so many wonderful sounds. Here in London there are quite a few really neat bands; people that are trying to make indie/artsy music, folk, people that are just trying to make music with real emotion. There are also those that pass through, still locals of Southern Ontario, but some from the east and west coasts as well, Canadian Locals. Canadian music does not receive as much attention as it deserves especially from people living in Canada. There are famous, “important” bands, that are Canadian, but I don’t care about them. I love hearing regular people that seemingly have no talent wow me. At the moment, as I sit and stare into something Microsoft calls Windows, I’m listening to Mogli (www.myspace.com/moglidavid), it’s so low-fi, so raw, it’s just….so wonderful. I found out about Mogli when I went to a show to see someone I’ve known for a very long time, Davita Guslitz (http://www.myspace.com/davitag) who was also so wonderful. I don’t know if I’ve ever been to a show that moved me as much as this one did. The entire crowd participated, danced and made noise. Life is a beautiful thing, so beautiful it makes you want to shed a tear at times.

Here are some bands I think people should at least hear. You don’t have to listen to them, but you should hear them:
Non- Canadians: Half-Handed Cloud, Rafter, Dead Man’s Bones, Neutral Milk Hotel, Daniel Johnston
Canadian : Ages, Ben Sommer, Davita G, Mogli, Shapes and Sizes, Gregory Pepper and his Problems, Burn Planetarium, The Born Ruffians

The nice thing about this music is that it makes you want to do something, even if you feel you can’t. If you can’t sing or play guitar, who cares, you can still make beautiful music. If you play an instrument that is no common, you should used it and make music. Be free, be courageous, be as beautiful as you really are, because, you are beautiful.

As per the title

I have had this account for quite some time now, but have never really had the urge to write. But being as I work with computers, why not write. This blog should not be taken seriously. I will mainly deal with my mundane days (though lately they have been much more exciting), my boring and unsophisticated thoughts, and just random ramblings.

I guess I will quickly explain who and what I am. I am a man-boy. Not quite a man (I don’t ever expect to be one of those) and not quite a boy; perpetually stuck in my 11 year old attitude. I know life experience is not the same for everyone, for if it was, this life we North Americans lead would be even more boring than it currently is, but for me, grade six was my defining year. I learned about punk, became a better skateboarder, I learned about girls, I realized what it was to be a good person.

People say they become conscious at the age of around 4 or 5, as that is where most of our memories start, and though this is true, I was unaware of anything until I was 11. Since then my logic, morals, and ethics have barely changed, the only difference is now I understand why I think and feel the way I do.

I guess this blog would constitute a ramble. It dealt with nothing, but nothing is still something.