Sleep...can we be friends again? I think you're killing me.

I haven't been sleeping for the past little while. At first it was fine, but everyday just gets worse. I see things that might not really be there; I hear things and interpret things that were never said. I say things I don't want to say! I'm a mess..... I don't feel tired when I know I should sleep. It feels ok to not sleep. But then I do for a little and I feel more fucked up than before I did. I hate it. I want to sleep. I want to feel ok, but currently I can't. Everyone says "is there something on your mind?" Not really. I don't think when I lay in bed. I just lay there, unable to close my eyes for more than 20 minutes at a time. It's not dreams that are waking me because I can't remember any of them. I've been spacing out hard. I miss blocks of time. At one point I missed 10minutes. I wasn't high on drugs. I wasn't drunk. I'm just fucked. I miss sleep. I miss being me. I'm just a mess.......